but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
