You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
