so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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