We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
