I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
