I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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