Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
nutella sex= disaster
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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