SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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