Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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