i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
