Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
