sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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