I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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