We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
