I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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