just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
