it's too hot outside to masturbate.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I believe in your delicious
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
