i wish there were pregnant emoticons
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We talked him into tasing himself.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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