I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
