My friends, they love my intelligence
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
