she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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