Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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