mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
