Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
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He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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