Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
