he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
