i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize