I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
