i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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