how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
