Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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