these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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