i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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