I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
