We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize