The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Randomize
