I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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