But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Everything about him screamed your future.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
