I want to have your abortion
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
