She is in my trunk
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
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