This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
