So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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