Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
