i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
