I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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