Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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