Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We have started to decorate penises.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
