she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
