my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
