Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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