gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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