Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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