She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
