well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
