can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Ambien. No doubt about it.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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