sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
