Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
