im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
