dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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